revolutionary road

I saw this movie a couple days ago.

Movie description: Frank and April, a married couple in the 1950s, have always seen themselves as special, different, ready and willing to live their lives based on higher ideals. So, as soon as they move into their new house on Revolutionary Road, they proudly declare their independence from the suburban inertia that surrounds them and determine never to be trapped by the social confines of their era. Yet for all their charm, beauty and irreverence, the Wheelers find themselves becoming exactly what they didn't expect: a good man with a routine job whose nerve has gone missing; a less-than-happy homemaker starving for fulfillment and passion; an American family with lost dreams, like any other. Driven to change their fates, April hatches an audacious plan to start all over again, to leave the comforts of Connecticut behind for the great unknown of Paris. But when the plan is put in motion, each spouse is pushed to extremes--one to escape whatever the cost, the other to save all that they have, no matter the compromises. as per yahoo movies

This movie reminds me how poisonous 'discontentment' is.   I've battled with discontentment forever.  The attitude of entitlement and when things aren't the way you planned it or the way you want  your life to be and how it can lead to such discontentment.   Discontentment can just take a hold of your heart and you fall into darkness... blindness.  And how easier it is to fall into unproductive and dangerous habits.

And you believe this lie... it's greener on the other side...  and you fall into such regrets.  And in  marriage, how you can easily resent your partner for coming to a place of failure  where you thought you'd be at such a greater place or  be doing much more amazing things with your life than where you are.

Wishing for that  freedom that I'd have if I didn't have so many kids or if I didn't get married so young and if I  lived a single life for a bit.  the list is endless.  and on days where everything seems to go wrong and in the confusion of kids bickering, whining, and crying and not being  able to find certain things because your husband did not put it back where it belongs.  Working, cooking, cleaning, wiping, bathing, disciplining, teaching, driving, getting it on, inability to have a social life, inability to eat in peace, inability to just sit and relax by myself , inability to listen or watch what I want. You want to just fly away and be on a secluded island and just do what "you" want to do forever .

But by the grace of God, unlike April, the sinful part of my heart did not take over. It is scary to see Kate Winslets portrayal of April and how I can see myself in her.  The rage, the pain, the selfishness...  and to know that God has graciously given me sight to see  HOPE.  Hope of what is in store for me in a place of complete peace and joy.  Even in this side of heaven  where it is marked with sinfulness, there is hope. 

A life of faith is such a precious gift and this movie reminded me what I have found in Jesus.  HOPE!

Life is where God places me and there is no mistakes...